And thus it begins...

I must, it seems, succumb to the societal need to expound my thoughts and feelings via the technological purging known as a blog.

First things first: What is a semiotician?

Semiotics is the study of signs, symbols, and patterns. Often this study focuses specifically on natural language and cultural occurances. Thus, a semiotician is a person obsessed with a field that is the second cousin to the just slightly better known field of linguistics. What this means? No one ever knows what you really do, only in part because what you actually deal in is, well, everything.

Because semioticians are both culturally concerned and aware of social necessities, I have created a list of synonyms which people can at least associate with my field. The following are some of the attempts to recategorize myself for friends and family.

Pattern Theorist - works nicely until people realize they don't know what you mean by patterns. Or what you could possibly be theorizing about them.

Informatics Specialist - this is the technical application of semiotics. It usually makes people think of computers and/or libraries.

Metaphorician - it's a word people can identify with, but no one has ever heard it used as a title. Very uppity subfield.

Symbology(-ist) - Thanks to "The Boondock Saints" people can grasp that you have something to do with analyzing symbols.

Archeo-symbologist - If only the career of Dan Brown's protag truly existed. Also one of Jarrod's more colorful identities on "The Pretender." Gives you a subtle metaphysical vibe.

Pattern Forensics - suddenly you're interesting, and everyone thinks you're like the odd/funky character on various television programs including NCIS, CSI, X-files, etc. You know, the ones with way too much time and information on their hands?

Whatever you call me, I'm the one no one likes to watch tv or films with. I usually know the end from the beginning, and can blow the suspense on most anything for anyone. I can't see a handful of jellybeans or a school of fish without making some kind of geometric double articulating (mutiple levels) association. Every ad in a magazine recalls fairytales or narrative archetypes. There are no coincidences, only increasingly interesting connections and occurence frequencies.

Well-known Semioticians include Umberto Eco (everything from language to fashion), Joseph Campbell (myth and story), John Stewart (Politics), Ellen Degeneres (modern life), Claude Levi-Strauss (language and culture), Sigmund Freud (human psychology), and the Cohen Brothers (film). These are not necessarily merely experts in their fields, but experts at analyzing and classifying/categorizing the ideas in their fields. For some this makes them exquisite comedians or profound visionaries. For others, it simply makes them obsessive compulsive.

So in short, this is a blog about everything. Kind of anti-Seinfeldian. Quasi-Stanislaw Lem. Pseudo-Douglas Adams.

You get the idea.